It's women's month. And so here is something for the ladies.
And men, who like to get to know the ladies! ;)
I came across an article on The Philippine Star this weekend and thought of "The Tita Singles Club," which is composed of my college friends who are all female and single. (Hello, guys out there!)
As of this writing, I have no idea how they came up with the group's name. All I know is that they all fit the category. Anyway, I may be an honorary member. Just tell me when the rites is going to be held, girls. I hope they can enlighten me on this one. Ha! Ha!
When you declare that you're single, people often give you that dumbfounded look that could be translated into a hundred and one ways. Or more!
"What is wrong with you?" "Mapili ka siguro masyado! Choosy!" "Ang taas ng standards!" "Ang ganda-ganda mo naman..." "Ay, sayang!" "Walang time? Busy masyado?" "ANYARE?"
The list goes on. If you've been in a situation where everybody seems to question your "single blessedness," and most of your friends have tried to set you up on a blind date, I am certain you can relate.
The article was originally published here. Share if you must!
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Are you happy being single?
Seeing pretty ladies who choose to remain single is not surprising anymore. Times have changed with women being more active in any field one can think of, from the military to politics, media and the medical field. And nowadays one can give a thousand and one reasons why these women stay single and happy.
Read on as we ask some of these empowered ladies their thoughts on marriage and being single.
Celine Lopez, entrepreneurI’m 35 years old and have been in the workforce since I was 18. I have supported myself throughout these years without my family’s help and this has given me the great gift of choice through self-validation.
I have two strong female models who I look up to: my mother Emily Lopez and my former boss. Both are married with children and have mastered the delicate physics of balancing family and work. At my age, it can be said I’m “over the hill,” but I never quite felt the need to be married and settled just yet. I am still growing up; we all are. I believe you need to be a whole person before you get married and should not expect another person to fill that void. I admire all the women who have created families and unions with great success.
It’s all about being honest with yourself and addressing your own needs independently. In this life only you can make it right. You can’t expect a man to solve your problems. You are there as partners and you need to be solid to be an able partner to your spouse. Being single has its challenges, but being married is coming into an institution.
Personally, I’m scared because people are capricious and you cannot control anyone. This is a truth. So unless you have that mighty inner strength, you owe it to yourself and the person you love to be whole. Nothing is guaranteed in this world and the only barometer is that when you’re with someone you choose to be with him and not because you need him. Only you in your entire self-autonomous being can weather whatever life throws at you.
When you get married you need a partner, not the conventional white picket fence. If you’re happy then you have the ability to make anyone happy. Without that strength, it’s just co-dependence and perhaps a life of knife edged compromises. Love should make sense. Love yourself first, then you have the power to love anyone you choose in a healthy and sustainable way.
Grace Lee, news anchor, TV hostI have always dreamed of having a family of my own. At 21, my prayer has been to be able to find God’s best and have four children. But only recently I came to realize that I have to work on being alone first — to be comfortable in my own company. To realize my strengths and limitations, as well as the dreams unrealized in my heart. And to wait. To be patient and not fret as God is never late.
Nonny Carlos, executive recruiterAt this stage and age in my life/journey, I am happy being single. This is not to say that I have chosen to be single nor that I have closed my mind/heart if someone who I can be happy spending the rest of my life with comes along.
What is important is that I have made the best of what I can be alone. I believe that one does not need another person to feel/be complete. I have helped perhaps a couple of hundred people be successful in their careers via my mission/work as a managerial recruiter for almost 45 years. And this I will continue for as long as I can. I have a close small circle of friends I can spend time with. I feel confident enough to travel on my own and not deprive myself of opportunities because I have no traveling companion. I wish that younger single ladies especially those in their 30s would come to the realization that there is so much more to life than being in a relationship or being married.
Cory Quirino, health and wellness advocateI imagined that proverbial “knight-in-shining-armor” to make me happy. Today, I have come to realize that a woman doesn’t need a man to validate her existence. However, after having been married for seven years and after 30 years of being single, I still believe in marriage — for the right reason. Two persons, whole and complete in themselves who simply are in harmony with each other — not just looking into each other’s eyes, but looking at the same direction in life — together. So, yes to marriage. (Open to surprises, I will let God do the choosing!)
Atty. Farah G. Decano, city administrator, Dagupan CityAn empowered woman is one who thinks beyond herself. Being married or single is an irrelevant issue to her. Her life does not revolve around whether she has a company or not. I like to believe that I am empowered.
Mia Borromeo, editor at large, Philippine TatlerMy life is so full and happy. Each day, I feel God has blessed me beyond measure. I love the priviledge of traveling the world, of seeing such amazing places and experiencing all that they have to offer; I love my peaceful garden, and being able to spend a few quiet moments meditating on nature every morning. And above all, I am so grateful for the wonderful friends I have. I may not have children of my own, but between my nephews, nieces, godchildren and adorable little children of friends, I have an extended family many times over. At this point, I couldn’t ask for more.
AC Legarda, area head, Commercial Business Group, Ayala Land Inc.I am happy being single and it is my kids and family who complete me. Love is not something looked for; it finds you and it has found me in so many ways. Should it find me again, who am I to say no?
Candy Dizon, jeweller/designer, Jul B. DizonI have never enjoyed being single as much as I do now. Being unattached at this stage and age offers freedom that a modern woman like me wants and needs. Having financial, emotional and spiritual stability is more important than having a partner at this time in my life. In addition to my complete freedom, I get to date, ogle, check out any guy I find attractive without getting into any argument or sense of guilt. Marriage is far off from my mind, but I will never say never.
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